Fitness and self-sufficiency are beyond my reach

The regime of fitness and
self-sufficiency is a fantasy
that i can never achieve

I want to be physically fit and self-sufficient to survive collapses and shocks afflicting the current capitalist system, which centers around the false doctrines of infinite growth and profits. I want to limit my weight to 55 kg. Physical fitness and freedom from life stress are my frequent fantasies. I fantasize about being able to carry heavy loads.

Because i am overweight (75 kg), i can only create AI alternates of myself being in those fantasies. The images are edited, but they attract many viewers. The development implies that people want me to get physically fit. I know that exercise and other physical movements must be maintained constantly and by various methods. I know that fitness takes time and effort. The same goes for self-sufficiency. Sadly, negativity rules me all the time. Everything is self-serving and ultimately pointless.

I rarely eat fruits because
i accepted my fate of
being unhealthy

Speaking of lifestyle tactics, i move on certain days, such as getting out and walking around the market. Many of my tactics may appear horrid to many: i brush my teeth every 1 or 2 days; i change clothes every 3 or 4 days; when i bathe, it is to enjoy cold water. My diet is poor in nutrition: i prefer fatty meat and junk food over vegetables; so far, i rarely eat fruit because i'm uninterested. I drink coffee 3 times a day, even in the evening.

On the matter of self-sufficiency, i'm used to being a parasite. I rely on others to cook food for me. I only water plants when i want to or see benefit in it. I resort to being unhealthy to cope with my unemployment. I continue unhealthy tactics because i'll remain unemployed throughout life.

How can i achieve my desired fantasies when my reality is galaxies apart? I've never been used to breaking projects into stepping stones. Whether i care for myself or continue my lifestyle, nature decides.